I was at a convenience store and in the menagerie of crap that always crowds the register there was a big bucket of incense sticks in different flavors. I’m not a big fan of incense but I had some time to kill while Mr. Seven Eleven was ringing out my stuff to take a look at the flavor selection. When I see the name of a scent the smell of it instantly comes to mind. I see Blueberry and I can almost smell blueberries. They had vanilla, blackberry, strawberry and many other scents and I could recall those smells with ease. Then there was one that the smell didn’t immediately come to me and what did was not something I thought would add to the ambiance of my home.
SEX. They had sex scented incense. Um, what the hell does that smell like, exactly? Do I want that wafting through my house when my parents are coming over or when the children are home? Who the hell would buy a sex scented incense stick? We figured it was one lonely guy who wanted a little masturbation with “smellivision.” I noticed that each stick conveniently burns for about an hour and that’s about 5 times as long as it takes anyone to masturbate so that could be a weeks worth of self loving enhanced by flavored incense. It’s also not made from “cheap alcohol and proudly made in the USA… most likely from creepy dude’s basement. Nothing will surprise me ever again.
Scatch n Sniff Smelli-Bloggin'!
But I spoke too soon. Hours later in a completely different town we were walking through a little flea market and one of the vendors had tons of incense. I didn’t think it was possible but there it was again. More sex scented incense! So apparently there’s some people out there that would love the smell of sex gently wafting through their home while they watch a movie, cook dinner, or entertain guests.
I had to get in there and take a good whiff. I wanted the essence of sex to fill my nostrils, I needed to smell what so amazing about the smell of sex that people would want to burn it in their homes one hour at a time. Wonder what it smells like? Trust me, nothing you’ve smelled or experienced… unless sex for you smells like mothballs and Bazooka bubble gum for $1 a stick. Gross.
A little quirky, a little fun, a little serious, and very loud! I'm the voice behind the radio broadcast and writer behind this blog. I'm always on the lookout for something new, innovative, creative, fun, or just pisses me off... GAME ON! 
Lolz… that reminded me of the first time I smelled a durian. Jerry cuts into this thing (which had eaten tons of as a child growing up in Indonesia) with skill and enthusiasm while we stood around wondering just what in the hell this prickly football thing could be.
The aroma hit my nostrils like feces being flung from a monkey’s cage at my face.
I backed away, to Jerry’s surprise as he held out a slice of this exotic fruit in a gesture of offering. All I could do was politely decline and say that it didn’t smell very good.
“Is it rotten?”, I asked.
“Oh no, no”, he said “this is actually very good, it’s sweet, try it.”
“Uhh… no thanks, it smells a bit off.”
“What do you mean!?”, he said “this smells like sex!!”
*stunned silence*
* * * *
*some pensive glances*
I never did work up the courage to try the durian. It simply stank too much for me to even imagine something that smelly tasting good. However, it does apparently smell like sex to some people.
I wish you could have seen my expression when I read this! Classic.
Haha… could you type out a brief description?
We need an etch-a-sketch on this thing. O_O
Well, sweet… Someone will love this and I can’t wait to tell her about this. Thanks again…